


Season

by jamesgatz1925



Series: Baseball!Sonny [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: AU, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Smut, Sonny is a baseball player, baseball AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-01-05 19:50:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18372917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jamesgatz1925/pseuds/jamesgatz1925
Summary: Sonny’s second season in the Major League. Rafael’s too.Set before Start Spreadin’ the News. This is leading up to that story.





	1. Spring Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for sex.

Sonny’s entire world was butterflies.

 

Butterflies in his belly, his heart, his brain; his entire world aflutter with excitement and anticipation.

 

Anticipation for his single favorite thing on earth: baseball.

 

A new season meant an abundance of things. First, Sonny got a clean slate. Stats reset to zero, one hit is a thousand. That’s an ego boost if Sonny ever needed one.

 

Second, it was Sonny’s sophomore season. He wasn’t a little rookie anymore, he didn’t have to carry around the little Hello Kitty backpack anymore. It was someone else’s job now to be a fool. Sonny just got to be a wise guy in that background that had a great first season and high expectations for the second.

 

Finally, Sonny got to get back to work. Not that hanging out all winter wasn’t fun. Not that gaining three pounds during Christmas at Rafael’s Abuela’s House wasn’t fun. Not that hearing “You’re gonna be a great like Mickey and Roger,” wasn’t fun. Not that getting to spend every night with Rafael wasn’t fun. Not that sleeping with Rafael instead of a lumpy hotel bed wasn’t fun. But Sonny was so ready to get back to work.

 

What Sonny didn’t like about the season starting was packing. He didn’t really mind moving to Florida for two months, he didn’t really mind living with a buddy from college who plays for the Rays. He really didn’t mind the media being insane during the winter months because of the prospects of a new season. It was packing that he didn’t like.

 

Sonny snapped a photo of an empty suitcase with a spare glove and swim trunks tossed in. He grinned as he opened Twitter to post it.

 

“You’re a dork,” he heard behind him, making him jump slightly in surprise.

 

But Sonny let out a chuckle. “We both know my followers appreciate—“

 

Rafael rolled his eyes. Sonny laughed again as he clicked the ‘new post’ button on Twitter. The social media thing was new, only since the off-season when he did an interview with Baseball Tonight and they somehow convinced him to try out Twitter. Overnight he gained most of the city of New York in followers, and the number kept growing. For some reason, Sonny liked the instant validation Twitter gave. It was like getting a hit and his stats going up in the middle of the game.

 

Rafael, however, was not new. It was their second year together too, since Sonny found him one night in a bar. Rafael usually took credit for their meeting, but Sonny knew it was all him. Sonny knew, through Rafael’s habits, that Rafael frequented that bar. He knew that their meeting had everything to do with him being at the right place at the right time.

 

It didn’t matter. Sonny would have the silly “who found whom” fight for the rest of his life.

 

Still, he ignored Rafael’s snickers as he posted the photo with the caption ‘Moving day!’ He knew his followers would like it.

 

“You’re still a dork,” Rafael said, checking the Tweets anyway. He never liked anything Sonny posted, but Sonny knew he liked to keep track of games when he couldn’t watch and check pictures that the Yankees post of Sonny. Rafael ‘secretly’ saved all of the photos.

 

Sonny swept in and kissed his cheek. “Love me, though.”

 

Rafael smiled and didn’t look up from his phone.

 

“I also know why you’ve been so snippy lately,” Sonny said, sticking his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants.

 

“Why?” Rafael asked, still not making eye contact with Sonny.

 

“‘Cause you’re gonna miss me.”

 

Rafael snorted. He wandered out of the bedroom and into the living room.“Not having to watch you Tweet for two months?”

 

Sonny caught him and wrapped his arms around Rafael’s waist from behind. “You check my Twitter more than I do.”

 

Rafael double-tapped the home button on his phone and exited out of Twitter, but not before Sonny noticed he was on the replies of the last Tweet.

 

Sonny kissed the back of Rafael’s head. Rafael leaned back against him.

 

“I’ll call you every night,” Sonny said. “Pete will laugh at me, you know, ‘cause I’ll probably hide somewhere to talk to you. But I will.”

 

“I know you will,” Rafael simply said.

 

Sonny smiled. “You know how much I love you?”

 

Rafael nodded. He swayed slightly, and Sonny knew he had his eyes closed. Sonny kissed next to his ear.

 

“I’ll miss you,” Sonny said.

 

“I know,” Rafael replied. “You’re, like, obsessed with me.”

 

“I’m in love with you, that’s different.”

 

“I know that too; you’re obvious.”

 

“Really? Tellin’ you three-hundred times a day is obvious?”

 

“Mmm,” Rafael sighed.

 

Sonny turned him around. Rafael’s eyes were still closed, so Sonny kissed his nose. Then, Sonny grasped his face with both hands.

 

“You’re too damn cute,” Sonny said. “I’ll miss your face.”

 

“It’ll be the same face in April.”

 

“Ooh, and in...what weekend are you coming down?”

 

“Second weekend of March. I’m all yours.”

 

Sonny smiled. “Me and you, in a big o’ hotel. Like a mini-vacation.”

 

“Yeah, we can see all the sights in good ol’ Tampa, Florida.”

 

“Or we could stay in the hotel for three days and have sex.”

 

“But I really wanted to go to Busch Gardens.”

 

“Have you been Googling ‘Things to do in Tampa’?”

 

“Well, it is vacation—“

 

“What more do you need to do than go to the stadium and, well, me?”

 

“I can’t even go to the beach? It’s snowing here and—“

 

Sonny mocked an eye-roll. “I guess we can see the beach.”

 

Rafael smiled. He leaned up and kissed Sonny. Sonny loved it so much. He loved Rafael so much.

 

Rafael pulled back first, pushing slightly at Sonny’s hips. “You need to pack,” Rafael said.

 

“Hang on, I’m not done.”

 

Sonny kissed Rafael again. He could kiss Rafael for hours—he had before. He could spend all the time in the world feeling the man in front of him.

 

Rafael smacked away from Sonny’s lips. “You need to pack—“

 

Sonny groaned. “I won’t kiss you for two months.”

 

“Until the second weekend of March.”

 

“At Busch Gardens.”

 

Rafael smiled. “At Busch Gardens,” he agreed.

 

Sonny kissed his nose, then his forehead.

 

“I have work to do too,” Rafael said.

 

“I know.”

 

Reluctantly, they parted. Rafael turned to the kitchen. Sonny followed.

 

Rafael glanced over his shoulder. “I thought I told you to pack.”

 

“Why? You’re just gonna do it for me.”

 

“I am not.”

 

“Well, that’ll be real awkward on the bus to the different stadiums.”

 

Rafael shrugged. “I’m not worried. You shower with them every night.”

 

“Jesus, when you put it that way.” Then, Sonny laughed. “Fine, I’ll pack for myself. I’ll pack all my shorts and silly t-shirts that you hate and socks with sandals and—“

 

Rafael nearly slammed the refrigerator shut. “Fine, I’ll do it. Only because I want to make sure you’re not inadvertently embarrassing me while you’re down there.”

 

Sonny grinned. He truly hated packing.

 

Rafael rolled his eyes, but headed to the bedroom anyway. “And I’m packing you a nice suit so you can take me to a nice dinner.”

 

“Do you think Busch Gardens has a restaurant?”

 

Rafael shot him a glare over his shoulder.

 

Sonny smiled widely. He was going to miss this. He was going to miss Rafael’s glares and eye-rolls when Sonny was joking. Sonny knew Rafael thought he was funny, but Sonny also knew that those little jokes earned him a signature Rafael side-eye. Sonny knew just what buttons to push, what to say and when, and how Rafael would react.

 

Sonny thought he could stop messing with Rafael and help, but not before one more joke.

 

“Hey, I’ll be there during Saint Patty’s. Pack me my ‘Kiss me, I’m Irish’ shirt!”

 

Rafael sighed. “I don’t even know why you have that shirt. You’re Italian.”

 

“It’s funny! ‘Kiss me, I’m Italian!’ isn’t how it goes!”

 

“I’m not packing that shirt.”

 

Sonny already had it out; he slipped it into the suitcase while Rafael was folding something. When Rafael looked back at the suitcase, he sighed in annoyance, but cracked a teeny-tiny smile.

 

“You’re so annoying,” he told Sonny. He left the shirt and stacked another on top of it.

 

“You’re gonna miss me anyway.”

 

Sonny was kneeling on the bed, Rafael standing next to the bed. As soon as Sonny said that, Rafael suddenly surged forward and tackled Sonny only the bed. Sonny laughed as Rafael burrowed on top of him.

 

“God damn it, I will,” he mumbled into Sonny’s neck.

 

It was their first Spring Training apart. Sonny left quite frequently during the season, but usually for less than a week at a time. This was two entire months. Rafael knew Sonny had to, and of course he knew this had to happen every year, but that didn’t mean either of them had to be thrilled about the separation.

 

Sonny squeezed him as tightly as he could. “Just two months.”

 

Rafael nodded.

 

Sonny kissed his ear, then a part of his cheek that he could reach. Then, Rafael lifted his face, eyes closed, and found Sonny’s lips. He kissed Sonny with depth and fervency, a sense of urgency and Sonny knew what it would inevitably lead to.

 

Eventually, Sonny pulled Rafael’s shirt off and Sonny yanked his over his head while Rafael was up. Rafael dove back onto him and grinded his hips as soon as he was down; Sonny was pleased to feel him hard.

 

They kissed as their hands trailed everywhere they could reach; Sonny knew Rafael wanted to feel him. Sonny actually wasn’t leaving until the day after tomorrow, but he knew it was going to be a whirlwind of family, Rafael’s work, and Sonny finishing up things he needed to do before leaving New York for two months, and they wouldn’t have another chance for this. They wouldn’t have another chance to touch, and feel, to love as such.

 

Soon, Rafael’s hands trailed to Sonny’s sweatpants and easily yanked them down enough to free his cock. Sonny hissed against Rafael’s lips as Rafael wrapped a fist tight around it and started jacking him off. Sonny wanted more, he wanted Rafael to fuck him, but Sonny realized quickly that he was way too close and Rafael’s hand felt way too good to move. He moaned into Rafael’s mouth, he gasped, he begged, and finally he came with a cry as Rafael bit his bottom lip.

 

As Sonny came down from the instant high, he realized Rafael was still humping against his hip. Rafael was sucking small kisses against his neck and hard in his jeans.

 

“Oh fuck Rafi,” Sonny mumbled after a well placed lick on his neck. “Lemme—“

 

Rafael shifted so Sonny could unbutton and unzip him; then Sonny pulled his cock out with no finesse. Rafael didn’t seem to care, he thrust into Sonny’s dry but tight fist like it was the greatest thing he’d ever felt.

 

Sonny agreed, and he just held his hand still as Rafael finished against him, his come mixing with Sonny’s all the way up to Sonny’s chest.

 

Rafael fell next to Sonny to not disturb the mess on him.

 

“Fuck, you look so good,” Rafael said.

 

Sonny looked down at himself. White streaks covering his skin, his sweatpants still pushed down and his soft cock laying useless. He’s looked worse for Rafael’s viewing.

 

Rafael grabbed his face and kissed him. The urgency wasn’t gone, but Sonny knew it was all to say ‘I love you.’

 

After a few minutes of the sound of lip smacking echoing through the room, Sonny began to feel uncomfortable and sticky. He needed to clean up, needed a shower, and he knew he’d drag Rafael in, too.

 

As if reading his mind, Rafael reached behind them, then came back with a cloth to wipe Sonny’s stomach and chest. Sonny was thankful, but then he realized they didn’t have a towel or anything on the bed. He poked an eye open to check and—

 

“Oh, you bitch!” he cried as soon as he recognized his St. Patrick’s Day t-shirt Rafael was using to clean up their come.

 

Rafael smiled against his lips.

 

“You did all of that on purpose!” Sonny added.

 

Rafael said nothing as he chuckled and kissed Sonny’s neck.

 

“You’ll pay for that,” Sonny insisted.

 

Rafael just smiled.

 

“You’re lucky I love you,” Sonny said next.

 

“You’re lucky I didn’t just put the shirt down the garbage disposal like I wanted.”

 

“What? Why is that lucky for me? You still ruined it!”

 

“Because the garbage disposal would have broken, and you would have had to fix it.”

 

Sonny rolled his eyes. “You’re unbelievable.”

 

“Hey, you made the rule. I can’t touch your tools.”

 

That’s true, Sonny thought. He banned Rafael from touching the tools when Rafael tried to fix the washing machine while Sonny was in Oakland for a weekend and ended up with parts coming out that Sonny didn’t even know were in a washing machine.

 

Rafael kissed his cheek. “I will miss you. You have no idea.”

 

“I have some idea,” Sonny said, because of course he felt it too. They would be okay, though. Sonny knew.

 

Rafael rested on Sonny’s chest for a moment. Sonny knew his heart was beating so hard and fast that Rafael could hear it. When Rafael was near, Sonny’s heart beat faster than it ever did on the field. On the field, he felt calm, composed, rarely nervous. Around Rafael, he felt too excited and in constant disbelief that Rafael found and chose him. A little baseball player from Staten Island. A guy who’s life was constantly in display. A guy who’s work schedule was the among the most iritic. A guy who was so far out of his league.

 

But Rafael loved him. And Sonny loved Rafael. And he couldn’t stop thinking about what he was supposed to do apart from him for two months.

 

Rafael must’ve sensed the fears, the worry, because he lifted his head and kissed Sonny’s chest.

 

“Let’s shower,” he said, “Then go out to eat. You need some New York pizza before you go.”

 

Sonny let out a breath. “Alright,” he agreed.

 

Rafael reaches up and kissed his lips. “I love you,” he whispered.

 

Sonny blinked away a tear. “I love you, too.”

 

Rafael smiled, and Sonny smiled back, then Rafael climbed out the bed and pulled Sonny with him.

 

The rest of the evening was spent together. Packing was put on hold. The next day, they had to go to Staten Island to see the family before he left, but for that night, all they could think about was each other.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baseball is back! My favorite team (the Yankees) are in full swing (wink-wink) and I decided to bring this back.  
> Thank you for reading!


	2. Opening Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been way too long, I’m sorry. Hopefully I’ll be back at it regularly for a while!

Somehow, Rafael survived.

 

Two whole months without Sonny, only seeing him one quick weekend in March, was finally over, and Sonny was heading back to Manhattan. Unfortunately, his full schedule was beginning, and he’d come and go until October, but Rafael had learned to live in the present and be excited for the moments they had.

 

Everything was awaiting Sonny’s arrival home. Rafael ordered his favorite New York dish (pizza). He did the laundry so he wouldn’t have to worry about it, he caught up on work, and he had all of Sonny’s favorite shows queued on the T.V. Now, all he needed was Sonny. 

 

Boy, did he need him. Rafael had never needed anyone in his life; his mother claimed he stopped needing her when he could walk and talk. But Sonny is a whole different story. He needed Sonny’s presence, his touch, to make the day worth living. Rafael never thought he’d fall in love, but he was pleasantly surprised every time he reminded himself that he was. 

 

Rafael checked his phone, opening it up to the home screen image of Sonny’s Player’s Weekend uniform. He liked to remember the fun argument of Sonny trying to pick a nickname for the back of his uniform. Rafael had insisted that ‘Sonny’ was not a nickname as long as it was the name he went with every day—they didn’t call ‘Dominick Carisi’ up to bat, they called ‘Sonny Carisi’—but Sonny had countered that Buster Posey, catcher for San Francisco, used his nickname over his first name and still put ‘Buster’ on his Player’s Weekend jersey. Rafael had fondly rolled his eyes and told Sonny to put ‘Cabrón’ on the back of his jersey. It wasn’t until a few days later that Sonny realized Rafael had called him a dumbass. 

 

It was a quarter to 8 and Sonny still wasn’t home. Rafael knew he should have just picked Sonny up from the airport, knowing there would be some delay between JFK and their home, but Sonny insisted on not ‘bothering’ Rafael. As if Sonny’s presence was ever a bother. 

 

Rafael was a natural worrier. Instantly, he thought something was wrong, perhaps Sonny was still stuck in Florida or something, so he quickly found Sonny’s name on his one-person-favorite-list and clicked it. 

 

Sonny answered on the second ring with a groggy and irritated, “Hello?”

 

“Hi Sonny,” Rafael didn’t push or quip. “Where are you?”

 

“Ah gee, baby, I’m sorry. I shoulda told you when I landed. We’re on our way up to the stadium.”

 

“What? The stadium? Why?”

 

“Y’know, ‘cause we get on the bus and that’s where it takes us. Most guys gotta get their cars. Anyway, I’ll be home soon. Just gonna get on a train and—“

 

Usually, Rafael didn’t mind Sonny riding the subway. Sonny was a New Yorker after all, and a man of the people. However, with every person in town awaiting the team’s arrival, he was weary of a sleepy and vulnerable Sonny on the train. He didn’t want Sonny to go through any trouble. 

 

“I’ll go get you,” Rafael instantly said. At least taking a cab with Sonny made him feel better. 

 

“What? No, it’s cold out. It’s fine, babe, really. I ride the subway all the time.”

 

“You never ride the subway after being away for two months and batting .498 at Spring Training.”

 

“Aww, you were paying attention.”

 

“Not the point.”

 

Sonny chuckled. “It’s really fine, babe. I’ll get a cab if that’ll make you feel better.”

 

Rafael sighed. He couldn’t argue. “Alright,” he said. 

 

“See you soon.”

 

“See you,” Rafael said, then hung up. 

 

Rafael was annoyed. The bus ride all the way up to the stadium impeded on Sonny’s home time. Rafael only had a day free with Sonny until the first exhibition game, then Opening Day, then a full season. 

 

Rafael rubbed his eyes. He constantly wondered what he got himself into by falling for a baseball player. But, he decided, he would never change getting Sonny. 

* * *

 

Rafael stepped out of the car onto the curb of the Lyft drop-off area and again wondered what he got himself into. There was a sea of people in every direction, and he was stranded in the middle, staring up at the gigantic building that was sacred ground to most New Yorkers—except himself. 

 

It was almost sacrilegious how a boy from the Bronx felt almost nothing upon seeing Yankee Stadium. His dad would have a heart attack all over again if he knew Rafael was setting foot in that place, for his dad spent most of his childhood wishing Rafael would attend a game or even pick up a baseball. But his father would go to a game with a buddy and Rafael would spend the afternoon thankful that at least he was drinking somewhere else. 

 

Rafael was glad to not have any bad memories associated with the stadium, and thankful that he only had good times to fill there. Good times watching Sonny, the love of his life, doing his job. 

 

Rafael’s life was so not normal.

 

Everything around him wasn’t normal, either. Someone had mentioned that Opening Day was like a holiday, and boy were they right. People everywhere we’re celebrating already, there was music blasting, hot dogs being cooked; it was like a street fair with thousands of his closest friends. Or Sonny’s closest friends. 

 

Sonny’s closest friends wearing his jersey, shirts with his baseball card image on them, shirts about him. Rafael was never going to get used to that, seeing ‘Carisi-98’ on navy blue shirts. Rafael didn’t even own one of those shirts. He did, however, have his own stock of Carisi’s t-shirts at home. Ones he frequently wore while the man was out of town. 

 

Rafael walked along the street toward the stadium. Nerves filled him. He was usually let in to the players’ entrance, then escorted to the family room where he’d meet the wives and girlfriends and they’d go to their seats or suite. However, the last time he was there was months ago, and what if there was a problem, and what if someone didn’t let him in, and what if—

 

“Rafael!” he heard suddenly. 

 

Rafael whipped around and spotted a brunette woman rushing towards him. He sighed in relief when he recognized Michelle, a pitcher’s girlfriend who he befriended last season. She was a lawyer too, and they were a few of the only ones not married to their man on the team. 

 

“Oh thank god,” Rafael sighed as Michelle approached. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek when she did to him. 

 

“I’m glad you’re here too,” Michelle admitted. “I was freaking out wondering what to do if they didn’t let me in.”

 

Rafael just nodded. Michelle locked arms with him as they headed toward the stadium. 

 

“So, how was your winter?” she asked as they walked. “I saw you guys went skiing.”

 

“Fucking Twitter,” Rafael said. 

 

Michelle laughed. “Hey, at least he’s not obsessed with video games like AJ is. I lost him almost all winter when something came out.”

 

“Oh no, Sonny loves games. Luckily, he would play while I was at work.”

 

“God, I’m sure he had time to finish an entire game during that Freeman case,” she said. “I don’t know how you did it. That was one tough fuckin’ case.”

 

Rafael smiled. It was the toughest case Rafael had for months, but it resulted in the defendant being charged with multiple counts of rape and assault. It made the news with how intense it was, and Rafael was interviewed over and over. He’s unsurprised that Michelle kept up with it, since she’s a criminal prosecutor as well, except in the Bronx. 

 

“You know how it goes,” he said, “One thing just makes it all click. How about you, anything interesting?”

 

“Nothing at all. Here we are.”

 

They approached the player’s gate and got out their I.D’s. The security guard buzzed them in, and Rafael could tell Michelle felt just as relieved as he did. 

 

They went through the tunnel to the family room. They passed the Yankees’ locker room, and Rafael longed to see Sonny, but he knew he wouldn’t until after the game. Or, rather, until the game started. 

 

When they got into the room, Rafael was surprised. There was a mini-party going on inside. Music was playing, food was being served, and everyone looked in the middle of a celebration. Everyone’s kids ran around and played as the wives watched happily. 

 

“Here we go,” Michelle said, and Rafael knew what she meant. The wives were...alright. He hadn’t clicked with them yet. Yes, they accepted his and Sonny’s relationship, but they were wives and he was just a boyfriend, and Michelle was just a girlfriend. There was a strange stipulation about being married and having kids. Rafael felt weird around them, but he was glad to have Michelle. 

 

“Don’t leave me,” he whispered to her as the first group of wives approached them to talk. 

 

Rafael wouldn’t have dreamt it. He didn’t want to be left, either.

 

Rafael greeted everyone friendly, though, and was likewise greeted the same. Until game time, there was a lot of small talk about winter travels and Sonny’s Twitter account. One of the wives even pulled up his account on her phone, clicking on his most recent post, which was a very tasteful selfie with Rafael tying his tie in the background. Since Olivia had already screen-capped and sent it to him, it wasn’t a surprise to Rafael. Rafael just rolled his eyes and chuckled gently at everyone’s jests. 

 

Before the pre-game ceremonies began, the group of family members went to their seats. Rafael stayed close to Michelle so he could sit at the end of the isle and be next to her. 

 

From their seats, Rafael took it all in. He’d been to games before, but never Opening Day. Never Opening Day when the Yankees did amazing at Spring Training and his boyfriend was the star. He watched the team warm up on the field, with a sea of people pushed against the wall trying to get autographs. Rafael spotted Sonny, even though he was wearing the same blue uniform cover as everyone else and they all looked the same. Sonny was easy to spot, though, with his lanky form and tight, high-kneed pants. Rafael loved his little baseball pants. Rafael loved his ass in those pinstripes. 

 

Sonny made his way over to the crowd and everyone went wild. A burst of pride surged through Rafael. Sonny’s fame was a lot to get used to, but he’s glad he got over it. Now, he liked to look on and appreciate the people of New York who loved Sonny so much. 

 

Rafael watched Sonny take the time to sign autograph after autograph for the kids. He stopped for a few adults who pushed their baseballs in his face, but he knew Sonny loved talking to the kids. When he travelled for Spring Training, he stood at the wall with everyone else waiting for an autograph. He heard Sonny ask a few kids, “Do you play baseball? What position? Remember to have fun, okay?” And he just felt even more proud of the man Sonny is. Some players walk through the crowd like robots, signing mindlessly without a care, but Sonny cared so much. Rafael hoped Sonny never lost that. 

 

After what seemed like hours, and at least a beer and a half, the game began. It was a doozy at first, as Rafael always thought they were, but finally it picked up. Sonny hit the ball three times, he was incredible in the outfield, and the Yankees won by two runs. 

 

Rafael was very happy, and he knew a good game would mean a happy Sonny, too. He followed the families back to the family room to wait for their husbands and boyfriends. Rafael waited patiently, even though he was tired and annoyed that Sonny had to be the very last out. No doubt he was personally putting his uniform in the laundry bins and thanking the staff unlike the rest of the players who leave their dirty clothes and go. 

 

Sonny finally made it back to Rafael and greeted him with a simple kiss. He was continuously happy that Sonny didn’t shy away in public or around the team. 

 

“How are you?” Sonny sweetly asked. 

 

“How am I? I didn’t run around for three hours.”

 

“Smell like a few beers, though.”

 

Rafael smiled. “You leave me by myself with free beers. What am I supposed to do?”

 

“How many hot dogs did you eat?”

 

Rafael snorted. “Hot dogs. The audacity you have to ask.”

 

Sonny turned Rafael and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Yeah, the nerve of me.”

 

Rafael leaned into his hold. He smiled contently as Sonny said goodbye to his friends and they made their way out of the stadium. 

 

Rafael was glad when Sonny opted to get a cab instead of riding the subway. They sat contently in the backseat, Rafael scrolling on his phone and Sonny chatting with the driver. 

 

When they got close to home, their conversation dwindled and Sonny focused on Rafael again. 

 

“What’s new?” he asked. 

 

“Did you know Jennifer Lopez’s boyfriend proposed?”

 

Sonny didn’t reply. After a second, Rafael glances up to see Sonny just staring at him. The driver chuckled. 

 

“What?” Rafael asked. 

 

“Did you seriously just call Alex Rodriguez ‘Jennifer Lopez’s boyfriend’?”

 

“Well, I guess now he’s her fiancé, but—“

 

“No, no, did you just call World Series winner Alex Rodriguez, ‘Jennifer Lopez’s boyfriend’.”

 

Rafael rolled his eyes. “Babe—“

 

“No, no, no, no, no, no...” Sonny kept repeating. “Alex Rodriguez, guy who played twenty-two seasons, hit almost seven-hundred homers, was an All-Star fourteen times, and you call him ‘Jennifer Lopez’s boyfriend’?” 

 

“Look,” Rafael said, chuckling slightly, “You’re a born and bred New York baseball player. I’m a gay Latino. It is what it is.”

 

Sonny sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered. 

 

The cab driver laughed. “He’s got a point, Carisi.”

 

“He’s from the Bronx!” Sonny cried. 

 

Rafael smiled. He liked to fluster Sonny. He liked to watch the man turn red when Rafael asked an intentionally stupid question. However, Rafael did love to learn about what Sonny was passionate about, so he did ask tons of genuine questions. 

 

Rafael leaned over to apologize with a kiss. He kissed Sonny’s cheek as Sonny just kept staring at him. 

 

Finally, they arrived home. After the long day, and the early start tomorrow, Rafael wanted nothing more than to climb into bed.

 

“You hungry?” Sonny asked, going to the refrigerator. 

 

Rafael shrugged. “Not really.”

 

“You did have a hot dog didn’t you?” Sonny asked. 

 

“No!” Rafael cried, but he laughed. 

 

Sonny shut the refrigerator door. “Alright. Wanna watch something, or—“

 

“Honestly, babe, lets just go to bed. I’m so tired and we both have early days.”

 

Sonny nodded. “I agree.” He walked over to Rafael and kissed his forehead. “Hey, thanks for coming today.”

 

Rafael was surprised. He didn’t want Sonny to think supporting him at work was some sort of chore for Rafael.

 

“Of course,” was all he could say. 

 

Sonny smiled sweetly. Rafael couldn’t help tiptoe up to kiss him soundly on the lips. Sonny smiled through it still. 

 

Rafael could live in those moments forever. The ones where Sonny smiled into kisses and Rafael wanted nothing more than to make him smile more and more. 

 

When Rafael pulled away, he noticed how tired Sonny looked. He noticed slight bags under his eyes and color drained from his cheeks. 

 

“You did good today.”

 

“Really? Were you impressed?”

 

“Were you showing off?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Then yes,” Rafael said with a grin. 

 

Sonny kissed him once before saying, “My high school girlfriend used to make out with me under the bleachers after I’d hit home runs.”

 

“Home runs, but did you get to second base?”

 

Sonny laughed. “Ooh, nothing sexier than a baseball innuendo.”

 

Rafael grinned. “Well,” he said, “You can get to second base with me any time you like.”

 

Sonny lifted an eyebrow. “Oh, really?” He pushed himself against Rafael completely and wrapped his arms around his waist; Sonny gripped Rafael’s ass. 

 

Rafael stopped Sonny from kissing him. “Other than tonight. Let’s go to bed.”

 

“Tease,” Sonny joked, letting him go. 

 

“You have actual bags under your eyes!” 

 

Sonny rolled his eyes. “Alright, fine. It’s your loss anyway.”

 

“Oh, my loss? Really? I know how you feel after exercise.”

 

“And I know how you feel seein’ me in baseball pants.”

 

Rafael playfully glared at Sonny. “Fair enough.”

 

Sonny kissed his temple. “Tomorrow. I’ll get home earlier. We can have a date.”

 

“I’ll cook. As long as you’re home on time.”

 

“Yes, dear.”

 

Rafael chuckled. He took Sonny’s hand and pulled him to the bedroom. 

 

Once they were undressed and ready for bed, they snuggled up in the space that had for too long been too empty to Rafael. It was nice to have Sonny in his arms again, even though Sonny will be gone again by the end of the week. 

 

“I could stay here forever,” Sonny whispered into the dark. 

 

“Mmm, but who would play left field?”

 

“Who would pay for your ridiculous ties and pocket squares?”

 

“Hey, I was getting by before you.”

 

Sonny laughed. “Alright, I can’t keep my eyes open. Goodnight, baby.” 

 

Rafael kissed his forehead. “Goodnight, Sonny.”

 

Before he knew it, Sonny was asleep. Rafael followed quickly after, thinking about his crazy day, his crazy life, and the crazy man in his arms. 

 

 

 


	3. Player of the Month

Sonny was on fire.

 

He was having the best month of his entire playing career, hitting at least a home run a week, racking up RBI’s, and playing defensively like his life depended on it. 

 

Rafael watched as Sonny worked his ass off, then came home when he was home to make dinner and act like he was some cool, composed, average guy ending his workday. Rafael didn’t know how he did it. When Rafael was on a hot streak with winning cases, he acted like the world revolves around him. The world literally did revolve around Sonny at the moment, and he acted like he barely noticed. 

 

Rafael was in a car on the way home. He was mindlessly scrolling Twitter—something that he hated he did but it became a habit—when he came up to a photo Sonny was tagged in. Just over an hour ago, Sonny was in a selfie with a group of teens on the subway. The kids looked like they were having the chance of a lifetime running into Sonny on the subway, and Sonny looked happy to be taking the picture. He always was, of course. It made Rafael happy, too, even if Sonny was caught red-handed riding the subway when Rafael asked him not to. 

 

He exited Twitter and pulled up his last texts with Sonny. 

 

“I told you to stop riding the subway right now.” He texted. 

 

Sonny replied almost immediately, “And I told you to stop stalking me on Twitter.”

 

Rafael smirked. He was caught red-handed, too. 

 

“Truce,” Rafael said next. 

 

Sonny sent back a smiley-face, then another message after. “Are you on your way home?”

 

“Yes,” Rafael said, “ETA five minutes.”

 

“Great!! I’m warming up my ma’s lasagna and Nailed It 3 just came on Netflix!”

 

Rafael chuckled to himself, thinking that the world would love to know Sonny hit not one but two home runs today, then texted his boyfriend excited about Nailed It Season 3. 

 

Before Rafael could reply with a ‘see you soon’, Sonny texted a kissing-face emoji. Then, Rafael rolled his eyes and pocketed his phone for the rest of the short ride. 

 

* * *

 

Sonny invited Rafael to games as often as he could, it just wasn’t often that Rafael could attend. But, on a Sunday afternoon game, he had no excuse. Plus, it was Mother’s Day, so Sonny made him promise to invite his mother. The date and location gave him absolutely no excuse for that one. 

 

So, on a fine Sunday afternoon, Rafael made his way to the stadium’s gates with his mother’s arm locked in his. 

 

“I can’t believe you’re willingly coming here,” Lucia commented as Rafael passed her a ticket. “What would your father say?”

 

“Oh, he’d probably be thrilled at first, and then die all over again when I told him I’m sleeping with the left fielder.”

 

Lucia laughed. “Your mother loves hearing it, too.”

 

Rafael chuckled. 

 

“How is the apple of your eye anyway? This is the first time I’ve seen him in months.”

 

“I know, but you know how busy he is.” When Sonny had time to go home to make dinner for them, that wasn’t entirely true. But Rafael liked his time with Sonny. Maybe further into the season, he’ll get used to Sonny being gone for half of the year, but in mid-May, it was still too new. He was still getting his time missed from Spring Training. 

 

“We can have dinner sometime,” Rafael said still. It’s not like Sonny wasn’t in the Bronx already anyway. 

 

“I’d love that,” Lucia said on time for them to get to the gate. 

 

They easily found their great seats and got comfortable before they went for something to eat. Lucia smiled as she took in the view. Rafael knew her feelings about the Yankees and the stadium—of course she’s still a little mad about the franchise knocking down the original stadium for this newer, bigger stadium. Still, Yankee Stadium was Yankee Stadium; it was a place of dream when she was growing up in Cuba, only to come true when the family finally fled. The Yankees were a symbol of hope, just like the entire city of New York. Rafael’s Abuelo idolized the team in the days of Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig. 

 

“What a beautiful day,” Lucia commented, taking off her coat. 

 

Rafael smiled at her. “Happy Mother’s Day.”

 

“Gracias, papi,” Lucia said, then kissed his cheek. “And gracias to Sonny for the tickets. See what happens when I tell you to get out and date? You stumble upon the man of your dreams.” 

 

“Ah yes. Get out and date, get free tickets to baseball games. He has his perks.”

 

Suddenly, the man next to Rafael snorted. Then, he addressed Rafael without Rafael even looking at him. “You’re the queer dating Carisi?” He used air-quotes around the word ‘dating’.

 

“Uh, excuse me?” Rafael asked, turning slightly towards him. 

 

“The Yankees outta be ashamed of themselves for signing that queer and now I gotta be stuck next to you all game?” the man shook his head in disgust. 

 

Rafael was mad now. Call him names, fine. Call Sonny names and make a scene in front of other spectators? No way. 

 

“Actually,” Rafael said, “if I wanted to I could exchange my tickets for something better. How about it, Mom? Behind the plate? A suite? We could just wait for Sonny in the family room. But instead I’ll sit here all game, cheering on my boyfriend, who, by the way, has picked your Yankees up from quite the seasons in the past. Now, I’m trying to enjoy Mother’s Day with my mom. Maybe you should worry a little more about your wife, who you haven’t spoken to at all since I sat down, and less about me and my life.”

 

Some people around them chuckled. The man just huffed and turned a bit so he was more facing his kid and wife. Rafael felt satisfied, since he shot down a bigoted asshole without resorting to any profanity himself. The kid and other kids around didn’t need to hear any bad words, and Rafael prided himself on his impromptu speech making abilities. 

 

Lucia next to him squeezed his hand. Rafael knew she was pleased, too. 

 

The rest of the game went on fine. Rafael and Lucia ate and drank beers, which Rafael was finally used to. 

 

While the team was winning and Sonny was kicking ass, as usual, a part of Rafael couldn’t stop thinking about the stupid guy who had left with his family around the fifth inning. Rafael hadn’t encountered any homophobia yet, not with the team or community. He knew it was inevitable. One day, someone wouldn’t agree with his relationship with Sonny, but he didn’t expect to be so blindsided by it. He didn’t expect it to be in the stadium. He didn’t expect his poor Mami to be there, too. A lot of Rafael was disappointed. He wished he could ask the stadium to keep assholes out. 

 

Still, he had a good day, and so did his mother. 

 

After the game, they picked Sonny up from the locker room. Lucia was thrilled to meet a few of the other players, and Rafael just thought it was funny. It made him happy that she really was having a good time. A good time with him. A good time somewhere other than the little restaurant they usually go to when Rafael visits her. 

 

The thing is, he never really wanted to celebrate Mother’s Day with his mother. He hadn’t in the past. But last week when Sonny offered the tickets and suggested he ask Lucia to go...he wanted to. He wanted to see her. 

 

Sonny...Sonny made him a new man. 

 

He shouldn’t be surprised by that. Sonny improved his life in more ways than just having companionship. Sonny made him eat better and sleep better and drink more water and gifted him a few sets of way nicer ties and pocket squares and gave Rafael the inspiration to work harder and gave Rafael the inspiration to be a better man to love. Sonny did all of that. Sonny made him better. 

 

When Sonny exited the room to meet them, he greeted Lucia first with a kiss on the cheek, then Rafael with a quick peck on the lips. Rafael’s incident with the man at their seats was forgotten. The people who didn’t judge them, didn’t hate them, were the people who mattered. Not the little people who made comments. Rafael knew, realistically, that there were probably more people who thought the same was the man did. But the people who cared about them were the ones who mattered. They’re the ones who loved them, who Sonny played for. They were the thousands of New Yorkers who acted as an extended family. They were their family. 

 

“How was the game?” Sonny asks, wrapping an arm around Rafael’s shoulders to lead them out of the tunnel. 

 

Lucia lifted an eyebrow at Rafael. 

 

Sonny didn’t need to hear the discouraging words, Rafael decided. They could save that discussion. 

 

“It was great,” Rafael said. 

 

Lucia smiled. “Yes, Sonny, thank you so much for the tickets. And for making Rafi invite me.”

 

“You know, Lucia? I’d like it if you come to more with him. Keep him honest. Stop him from eating hot dogs.”

 

Rafael pinched him. “I don’t eat hot dogs!”

 

Sonny and Lucia laughed. 

 

“Speaking of hot dogs,” Sonny said, “I’m starving.”

 

Rafael looked at Lucia. “How about that dinner, Mami?”

 

Lucia smiled even wider. “You don’t have to visit your own mother?” she asked Sonny. 

 

Sonny waved a hand. “She had three other ones for a reason. Let’s have dinner.”

 

Lucia was thrilled. Sonny was excited to eat some good home grown food. Rafael was happy to be with both of them. 

 

* * *

 

The month continued and Sonny didn’t slow down. He kept his streak going for at least one hit a game, though many times it was more than two hits a game. He was the king of spectacular catches in the outfield. 

 

It shouldn’t have surprised Rafael when he was mindlessly scrolling Twitter on June 1st when MLB posted May’s Player of the Months. Rafael audibly gasped when he read it. 

 

“Congratulations @SonnyCarisi98 and @JBell_19 May Players of the Month.” was the caption, accompanied by two infographics highlighting Sonny’s month and the Pirate’s first baseman’s month. 

 

He quickly called Sonny, knowing he was still home and probably playing video games. 

 

“Hey baby,” Sonny answered. 

 

“Sonny, have you been on Twitter today?”

 

“No, why?” 

 

“MLB just posted and you got Player of the Month.”

 

“What?” Sonny asked, and Rafael could hear the game in the background pause. “No way.”

 

“Yeah!” Rafael didn’t really know what to say. Good job? Well done? None of that was anything near what he wanted to say. 

 

He could hear Sonny finding his iPad and looking for it. Soon enough, Sonny just muttered, “Holy shit...”

 

Finally, Rafael found the words. “I’m proud of you, babe.”

 

Sonny was quiet. “Thanks, Rafi,” he said softly.“I don’t think I could do it without you.”

 

Rafael almost said that he probably could, that his skill came way before Rafael did. But why ruin the sweet sentiment?

 

“I wouldn’t be who I am right now without you,” Rafael said. Because it was the truth. Because it needed to be said. 

 

Sonny was silent for a second, and Rafael thought he was trying to find something nice to say. Instead, Rafael heard the soft clicking of his iPad keys. 

 

“Are you Tweeting?!” he cried. 

 

“What?! I gotta thank everyone and congratulate Josh!”

 

Rafael rolled his eyes. “You’re lucky I love you. Or else I would change your passwords without telling you.”

 

Sonny gasped. “You wouldn’t.”

 

Rafael chuckled menacingly. “I probably wouldn’t.”

 

“Fine. It’s done. What are you doing?”

 

“I’m at recess.”

 

“You check Twitter at recess?”

 

Rafael was caught again. “Uh...no.”

 

“Rafi, you softy. Checkin’ up on me.”

 

“Not true. I was checking the news.”

 

“I know you get news notifications on your phone.”

 

“Fine, fine.”

 

Someone stepped out of the courtroom to tell him the jury was back. Rafael nodded. 

 

“Hey, Sonny? I gotta go. Jury is back.”

 

“Good luck, love. Maybe we’ll both get lucky today.”

 

“Mmm, and if not, we will tonight.”

 

“That’s not even what I meant!” Sonny exclaimed with laughter. 

 

“What? I have to congratulate you somehow.”

 

“You’re terrible.”

 

“And you’re amazing. I love you. See you later.”

 

“Bye, Rafi. Love you.”

 

Rafael hung up just on time to step up to Lieutenant Benson.

 

“How sweet,” she joked, and Rafael knew that she knew he was talking to Sonny. It was probably his dopey smile. 

 

All Rafael could do was smile, then waltz into the courtroom with a confident grin that Sonny always wore on the field. With Sonny’s inspiration behind him, he knew nothing could stop him. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t make up Player of the Month. I didn’t make up Josh Bell of the Pittsburgh Pirates winning it in May. I didn’t make up his Twitter handle. I did, however, make up Sonny’s. (Lol)


	4. All-Star

Rafael was constantly amazed by his love.

 

Sonny spent the day working his ass off on the field, and was still able to be good company at home. Rafael could barely stand after a long day in the office. 

 

Sonny was able to differentiate between work and home, something Rafael was never able to do. The extent of Sonny bringing work home was watching Baseball Tonight every night in bed. 

 

Sonny had a good attitude when Rafael did not. If Rafael lost in court, it effected him for days; if Sonny and the Yankees lost a game, Sonny forgot about it that very evening and was able to get up and do it all again the next morning. 

 

Rafael knew Sonny’s passion, though; he had it, too. He had as much passion for winning as Sonny did, perhaps more. It was just that Sonny’s game was on a much larger scale. Rafael wasn’t on the news every night. Rafael didn’t have thousands of Twitter followers. Nobody was walking around wearing a ‘BARBA’ t-shirt. 

 

Additionally, there were no All-Stars for lawyers, which Rafael found a shame. He was sure he’d make the team every year. 

 

Sonny was complete All-Star material, in Rafael’s opinion. Not only was he a great player, but he was a great man. He was all about the fans and the people, plus he did his own laundry and washed dishes. He was truly perfect. 

 

It was too bad Sonny was unconvinced of this. All-Star voting had been going on for a while in the season, and the man was unsure he’d make the team. 

 

“Wanna book a vacation that week?” Sonny asked in bed one morning. 

 

They had a lazy morning planned because it was Saturday and Sonny didn’t have to be at the ballpark until the afternoon. It was early June, and all anyone could talk about was All-Star voting. The Yankees had a campaign going to get most of their players to the game, and Sonny’s hashtag was just a simple “#VoteSonny”. Rafael secretly voted every day. 

 

“Yeah,” Rafael agreed. “Although I’m not very keen on vacationing in Cleveland.”

 

Sonny snorted. “Come on, Rafi, be serious. With Mike and Mook and Eddie and Josh...I’m not gonna get voted in. So, let’s go somewhere.”

 

Rafael knew Sonny didn’t check the voting polls, so he didn’t know he was currently in third place in voting, the prime spot for a game starter. 

 

“Besides,” Sonny added, “You don’t wanna go to Cleveland.”

 

“Who says I don’t?”

 

Sonny looked at Rafael and lifted an eyebrow. 

 

“Okay, fine, it wouldn’t crack top thirty in desirable travel destinations—“

 

Sonny cracked a smile. 

 

“But I want to go where you go.”

 

“Great. So we’ll go to the beach or something.”

 

Rafael didn’t argue, even though he knew, deep down he knew, that in July, he would be going to Cleveland.

* * *

 

 

Rafael usually liked visiting the SVU offices. He liked work. His best friend was there. He tolerated the other detectives. 

 

He did not like visiting when the Yankees did...anything. Because usually it was all work, work, work. Unless the Yankees won, then they talked about the win. And unless the Yankees lost, then they talked about the loss. 

 

Today, Rafael emerged from the elevator to a Detective Tutuola watching the game on his computer. 

 

“I thought your boy was hot, Barba,” Fin said instead of a greeting. 

 

Dumbfounded, Rafael replied, “He is.”

 

Detective Rollins chuckled from her desk. “He means that Carisi’s struck out three times today. What’d you do to him?”

 

“What, like I have anything to do with the state of his batting?”

 

“Three times!” Fin said. “I got money on this game!”

 

“I will tell you this, detectives,” Rafael said with a smirk, “He doesn’t strike out with me.”

 

Rollins gave a sideways smile. “Did Barba just make a sex joke? Must be love.”

 

Rafael chuckled on time for Lieutenant Benson to exit her office. 

 

“Raf, what the hell?” she asked, and he knew she was talking about the game, too. 

 

“You guys know I have no control over anything that happens there, right? I don’t even have control over where I sit when I go to games.”

 

“Speaking of going to games...” Fin said. 

 

Rafael rolled his eyes. “And here I thought we could do some actual work today.”

 

“You’re the one who told us we have to All-Star vote every day,” Rollins told him. “We vote, and oh? There just so happens to be a game on. Can’t blame us.”

 

“Well, then you can’t blame me for the state of Sonny’s stats today.”

 

“He’s lookin’ a little sluggish,” Rollins said, ignoring Rafael. “What have you been feeding him?”

 

Rafael pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m leaving.”

 

Olivia laughed from her doorway. “Come on, Rafael. We do have work to do.” The last part was for her detectives. 

 

Rafael could hear Fin and Rollins exiting out of the game. He left them at their desks and went to Olivia’s office. 

 

“Have you checked the numbers today?” she asked him, and he knew she was referring to the All-Star game polls. 

 

“I have not.”

 

“Let’s just say, you should probably book that hotel in Cleveland.”

 

Rafael sighed. “Sonny won’t let me. He truly believes he isn’t going to be voted in.”

 

Olivia shook her head. “Clearly your ego doesn’t rub off on him.”

 

Rafael shrugged. “I’ve tried. He’s too sweet.”

 

Olivia was smiling. Rafael knew she liked seeing him like this, finally, after all these years: happy. 

 

Before Rafael could ask about work, she perked up. “I have an idea. Book a room under my name, or I’ll do it for you. That way he won’t know and you can just cancel if something goes terribly wrong.”

 

Rafael thought about it for a moment. Rafael believed part of the reason Sonny wouldn’t let him boom a room was because of a weird superstition he had. Letting Olivia book a room would calm that worry, plus Sonny wouldn’t even have to know if the confirmations went to Olivia. He would also reduce the risk of not getting a room at all. 

 

“That’s a good idea. Thanks, Liv.”

 

“Of course. Now, let’s talk about how your life has gone from vacationing on the beach to vacationing in Cleveland.”

 

“Don’t remind me,” Rafael said, making Olivia laugh. Rafael laughed too, because that’s all he could do sometimes: laugh. 

 

* * *

 

Sonny often tried not to get his hopes up. He never got his hopes up about playing baseball in college. He didn’t get his hopes up on getting drafted. He didn’t get his hopes up on ever really playing Major League ball. And he certainly didn’t have his hopes up on making the All-Star team. 

 

Sonny’s reasoning for this was because he didn’t like to worry himself to death, and he didn’t like being disappointed. If he worried about it all and actually got his hopes up, he’d probably overthink and just do terrible at each chance he ever got. Additionally, he couldn’t have bared ever not playing in college, not getting drafted, or not playing in the Major League. Now, he couldn’t bare hoping to make the All-Star team, and then not making it. 

 

Because he wanted to make it, of course. He would love to go to Cleveland and play in a big game with his buddies. But he didn’t have his hopes up. He was realistic. There were ten other better outfielders fit for the job and there always would be. Sonny couldn’t get the hope get to his head. 

 

Sonny wandered into the living room. It was late, and although he was very tired from the long game that evening, Rafael was still up working on his cross-examination. However, when Sonny entered the room, Rafael clicked his phone off and set it on the coffee table in front of him. 

 

Sonny wasn’t fooled. He knew Rafael was checking something about Sonny judging by how fast he shut his phone off. 

 

“You’re not very sneaky,” Sonny muttered. 

 

“Sneaky about what?” Rafael asked innocently, picking up a pen and leaning over his notepad. 

 

Sonny went to the kitchen for a bottle of water, then joined Rafael on the couch. He was already in comfortable pajamas, but Rafael was still in his dress shirt and a loose tie. Sonny loved him like this—late at night, at home, but still working. He never changed when he was working, and Sonny was sure it was because if Rafael was comfortable, he’d fall asleep on the couch. 

 

Sonny tucked his legs underneath himself and sat facing Rafael. 

 

“What was Twitter talking about?”

 

“Who’s Twitter?”

 

Sonny chuckled. “You take me for a fool, Barba.”

 

“You take me for a sucker, Carisi.”

 

Sonny smiled at him. 

 

Rafael leaned back against the couch and looked at Sonny. “You look tired,” he said. 

 

“You’re diverting the question.”

 

“Was there a question?”

 

“You can’t lawyer me, sir.”

 

Rafael leaned close to him. “I can distract you.” He kissed Sonny softly on the lips. 

 

Sonny smiled against Rafael’s lips. He knew two things: that Rafael didn’t want to admit to being caught in Twitter, and that Rafael didn’t want to tell Sonny what he saw. A part of Sonny wondered if it was good news about him or bad, but on the other hand, he didn’t want to know. Couldn’t get disappointed if his hopes weren’t up. 

 

Sonny’s hand cupped Rafael’s cheek as they deepened the kiss. He felt Rafael’s wonderful stubble—which he found very sexy—and soft lips against his. But his hand didn’t stay on Rafael’s face for long. He trailed fingertips down Rafael’s neck to his tie, where he yanked until the fabric loosened more. 

 

“What are you doing?” Rafael whispered. 

 

Sonny toyed with the buttons of his shirt until two were open, then he slipped his hand into Rafael’s shirt to stroke his chest hair. 

 

“Takin’ you to bed,” Sonny said. 

 

“Oh, smooth,” Rafael joked. 

 

Sonny dove back in for a kiss, deeper this time, sloppy with tongue and lips everywhere. If he felt teeth, he didn’t notice, because he was overcome with feeling for the man under his fingertips. His man. Sonny’s hand went back to Rafael’s head to pull him in closer and closer. Soon, Sonny began to pull Rafael enough that he was laying against the arm of the couch and Rafael was climbing on top of him. 

 

“I thought you wanted to go to bed,” Rafael said. 

 

“Here’s fine,” Sonny panted, trying to pull at the rest of the Rafael’s buttons. 

 

“Don’t rip this shirt,” Rafael muttered. “You’re not that desperate.”

 

“Excited,” Sonny argued. 

 

“Excited? We had sex—“

 

“Do you ever shut up?” Sonny asked, half joking. Rafael talked way too much. He thought Rafael’s mouth could be used in so many other places. 

 

Rafael smirked. “You’re in a mood.”

 

“Yeah, I’m fuckin’ horny, now take your clothes off.”

 

Rafael yanked his own shirt off. “If you insist.” He unbuckled his own pants, then worked Sonny’s down. 

 

Once they were completely naked, Rafael spread Sonny’s legs and rested between them. Sonny didn’t have the patience to get the lube or do anything more than hump wildly on the couch like teenagers, but when Rafael laid over him, he pushed his hips down way too slowly for Sonny’s liking. 

 

Sonny grabbed his ass and growled. “Come on, baby, harder.”

 

“I’m relishing the moment,” Rafael sighed. 

 

Sonny’s head dropped back. “You’re making me crazy.” When Rafael pushed down, he pushed up. 

 

Rafael moaned. “You’re making me crazy, too.” He licked Sonny’s neck, sucked just above his collarbone. 

 

Sonny didn’t have the patience, he wanted to come soon. He felt like he was going to burst out of his skin if Rafael didn’t pick up the pace. So, instead of waiting for Rafael to get a move on, Sonny heaved once and turned them so he could be on top. However, he momentarily forgot they were on the couch, so they toppled over the side and landed roughly on the floor. 

 

Rafael groaned with pain, but just as quickly let out a laugh. 

 

“What the fuck, Sonny?” Rafael laughed. 

 

Sonny sat up on top of him. Rafael grabbed his thighs. “You were going too slow,” Sonny said, taking both of their cocks in hand and beginning to stroke. 

 

Rafael arched his back and groaned again, this time in deep pleasure. “You’re going to injure me during sex one day. You and your...ridiculous limbs. And then what would I say? How would I explain that?”

 

“That I need your dick too much.”

 

Rafael looked down at Sonny’s hand working them both. “And you—“

 

Sonny fell forward. “Oh my god, stop talking,” he said before sticking his tongue into Rafael’s mouth to shut him up. He loved hearing Rafael, he loved Rafael’s voice, but he didn’t want to be distracted with conversation. Rafael was trying to distract him before, distract him from asking about the All-Star polls, and that’s what he was going to do. 

 

Rafael just sighed and wrapped his arms around Sonny. 

 

Sonny finally got what he wanted. He came seconds after Rafael with a whisper of Rafael’s name on his lips. After cleaning his hand on his discarded underwear, he laid over Rafael again just to be held. Rafael stroked his back, and Sonny felt content. 

 

“Can I talk yet?” Rafael asked after about five minutes.

 

“Dear god, I’m surprised you lasted this long.”

 

Rafael snorted. “I just...why don’t you want to know about the polls? Why wouldn’t you want to know?”

 

Sonny sighed. “I just...I don’t wanna get my hopes up. I don’t want to be disappointed when I don’t get it.”

 

“But babe—“

 

“I just don’t want to get my hopes up. I don’t want the pressure. It’s not everything if I don’t go, I just don’t want to tell myself that it is. Everyone makes it too big of a deal.”

 

“I wish I could convince you to have more confidence in yourself.”

 

The words shot through Sonny like an arrow. Was that it? Was his confidence low? He’d always believed in himself. He’d always known that he could be a good player. But...was that why he didn’t get his hopes up? Was that why he knew there was always going to be someone better?

 

“Would you wanna know?” Sonny asked. “Like, If you had a big court case, would you wanna know which way the jury was swaying?”

 

“Yes,” Rafael said. “If I was winning, I would know to keep doing what I was doing. If I was losing, I’d want to know to improve.”

 

“What if you couldn’t improve any more?”

 

“There’s always room for improvement. For me, it may just be a well timed question or a big word. The jury eats up big words.”

 

Sonny snorted a laugh.

 

“For you? What could you improve on?”

 

Sonny shrugged. “Hit batting practice more? Hit the gym more?”

 

Rafael stroked his bicep. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

 

Sonny chuckled again. 

 

“I say this with the confidence you deserve,” Rafael said, “You’re doing great. You’re hitting great, fielding great, and your ass in uniform is enough to make the fans vote.”

 

Sonny let out a full laugh. “Gee, thanks, Rafi.”

 

Rafael ran a hand through his hair. “That’s why I vote for you.”

 

Sonny lifted his head to look at Rafael. “Do you really vote?”

 

“Of course. Every day.”

 

Sonny kissed him. “If I was on a jury, I’d vote for you because of your ass, too.”

 

“That’s unethical, Sonny. You would be sworn under oath.”

 

“Oh please, like you don’t use that ass to your advantage. I’ve seen you in pinstripes, too.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rafael said with fake innocence.

 

Sonny smiled at him. “I love you, Rafi. Thank you.”

 

Rafael kissed him. “I love you, too.”

 

* * *

 

Sonny was in a great mood when he entered the clubhouse the next morning. After a great end to the evening with Rafael, sleeping soundly next to the man, then getting to enjoy breakfast with said man, Sonny was of course in a great mood. 

 

He removed his earbuds as he entered the room on time to hear some of the guys already making fun of him.

 

“Someone’s in a good mood,” Bishop joked. 

 

“He must be checking the poll results,” Lang added. 

 

Sonny shook his head. “You know I’m not.”

 

He noticed Lee pat Lang’s shoulder. “Must be glad to not have to go to Cleveland.”

 

Sonny grinned. He knew the guys were messing with him because he didn’t check polls. He knew, as they did every day, that one would joke about him having high voting numbers, and one would joke about him having low numbers. But today, Sonny didn’t care. Whatever would happen would happen. All he had to do is work hard anyway. 

 

“Yeah,” Sonny retorted. “By the way, where are you vacationing?”

 

Bishop and Lang both sighed, “Ooooh...”

 

“We’re taking the kids to Disney World, if you want to join,” Lee said. 

 

“Surprisingly, I’d rather go to Cleveland than Disney World,” Sonny said. 

 

“Hey, that’s what I said,” Bishop added. 

 

Lang stepped closer to Sonny. “But really, you’re not checking the results?”

 

“Nope,” Sonny said. “It doesn’t matter.”

 

Lang shook his head. “You’re way more confident than I was the first year I went.” 

 

Sonny smiled. He was getting there.

 

* * *

 

The All-Star game was being voted on differently. Usually, the top vote was the starter automatically. This year, there was a final vote between the top three to be the starter. However, being top three meant you made the team and would be going to Cleveland no matter what. 

 

And wasn’t Sonny surprised to be one of the top three. 

 

There was no way for him to avoid hearing about it. Between people texting him and the Yankees starting a new campaign for their three guys in the finals to be voted in, Sonny couldn’t avoid it at all.

 

As soon as he walked up to the stadium and saw the brand new poster of his blown up face with ‘FINALIST’ underneath it being put up, he muttered, “Holy shit,” to himself and took out his phone. He pressed Rafael’s name and waited. 

 

“Hello? Did you get to the stadium and not stolen by the people of New York because you are an idiot who decides to ride the B in every day?”

 

Sonny ignored that. He was still staring up at the big poster in shock. 

 

“Sonny?” he heard Rafael ask. 

 

“Rafi, I’m a...I’m a finalist.”

 

“Oh thank god you know. I didn’t think I could keep that in.”

 

“Wait, you knew?”

 

“Of course. I get updates.”

 

Sonny ran a nervous hand through his hair. “Jesus, I...shit, Raf.”

 

Rafael laughed. “I told you.”

 

“I didn’t think...I didn’t know...”

 

“The people love you, Sonny.”

 

Sonny let out a shaky laugh. “I guess you’re right.”

 

“Am I ever wrong?”

 

Sonny laughed again. “Hey, uh, you know this means we’ll be vacationing in Cleveland, right?”

 

“I have a confession to make,” Rafael said. 

 

Sonny’s stomach dropped. “Yeah?” he asked. 

 

“I may have booked a hotel room in Cleveland, like, three weeks ago.”

 

Sonny is surprised. Rafael really did know all along. “Are you serious?”

 

“Of course. I booked it under Olivia’s name, though. So I wouldn’t jinx you.”

 

Sonny laughed. “You’re unbelievable.”

 

“You are. I’m so proud of you.”

 

Rafael was always so sincere in that. Sonny really felt it. 

 

“Thanks, Rafi.”

 

“Now, I have work to do and I know you do, too. You have a campaign to run.”

 

“I gotta send you a picture of this poster they’re putting up outside the stadium. I don’t have to run any part of the campaign.”

 

“Is it cute?”

 

“It’s my face.”

 

“So, yes.”

 

Sonny laughed. “I’ll send you a picture. I love you, Rafi.”

 

“I love you too, Sonny. Good luck today.”

 

“You too,” Sonny said, knowing Rafael had court that afternoon. 

 

Sonny hung up, but before he entered the stadium, he did send a picture of the giant poster to Rafael. Rafael replied with a heart-face emoji, and Sonny felt Rafael’s confidence down to his bones. 

 

A few days later, Sonny was announced to be voted in as starting left field. 

 

Rafael only said, “I told you so.” once. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy. Thanks for reading!


	5. Trade Deadline

July 31st was a date most players dreaded. Rather, the time leading up to July 31st. July 31st was a great day if they survived through it.

 

Right after the All-Star game every year, there were a few weeks where teams talk and negotiate and trade players to better their team’s roster. This was a very stressful time for players. No player was ever out of the woods. The biggest name in the game could be traded to the highest bidder, it just depended on who wanted to pay. 

 

Sonny did great leading up to and during the All-Star game. He had the time of his life with his friends and even more of a good time since Rafael accompanied him. A lot of his peers on other teams were excited to meet Rafael and there was a lot of media surrounding them—there always was. Still, Sonny wasn’t distracted by the frenzy and played a great few innings. 

 

When the team reassembled in New York, Sonny was ready to welcome the second half. He felt fit, he was well-rested, and he was coming off the first half of the season high as one of the best players in both leagues. It was all a piece of cake.

 

Then...it happened. 

 

People called it “a slump”. When a player was in a slump, they weren’t doing well. They were a bit off their game. They weren’t hitting or doing anything right. 

 

Halfway through July, Sonny fell into a slump. His lack of confidence got to his head. He wasn’t doing well, and overthinking it caused him to do worse, and finally he convinced himself that he would be traded. To someone shitty like Miami, no doubt; a team that had the money to buy an “important” player to help rebuild their team. If he could even be deemed important anymore. 

 

Sonny arrived home late after a game one night, later than he usually would but he stayed to take cuts in the hitting cage. It was so late that he had to take a cab in from the Bronx instead of the subway. 

 

That was a fun ride. The driver had looked back at him through the rear view mirror and asked, “What’s going on, Sonny?”

 

Sonny had shrugged. “I dunno,” he had said. 

 

The driver then shook his head in disappointment and didn’t say anything more. 

 

Sonny couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t handle disappointing everybody. 

 

When he arrived home, Rafael was still awake. He was in bed, sitting up against the headboard and reading a book. 

 

“Hi honey,” he said softly when Sonny entered the room. He sounded like he was going to be delicate to Sonny, act like he was sorry for Sonny. 

 

“God, I’d like it better if you just tell me I suck.”

 

Rafael’s eyebrows knitted together, but he didn’t look mad. “I would never tell you that you suck.”

 

“Maybe you won’t,” Sonny said, turning away from Rafael to go to the bathroom. “But everyone else will.”

 

“What? Who said you suck? I’ve just seen ‘slump’—“

 

Sonny stuck his head out of the bathroom door. “What do you think slump means?”

 

Rafael climbed out of bed. “So you’ve hit a rough patch. It happens to everyone. It happens to me, trust me.”

 

Sonny began to take off his clothes for bed. Rafael leaned against the doorway of the bathroom. They were comfortable enough that Sonny didn’t care that Rafael watched him pee, or brush his teeth, or do any other thing he needed to do in the bathroom at that time. Maybe that was the purpose of his life at that point, to have a meaningful, comfortable relationship. 

 

“Well, you’re not going to be traded if you don’t do well.”

 

“Neither will you,” Rafael said. “And, by the way, I could be fired. You not hitting is a little different than me letting rapists and murderers walk.”

 

Sonny grabbed his toothbrush. “Fair enough.”

 

Rafael stepped behind him and wrapped his arms around Sonny’s waist. “Is there anything I can help with?”

 

Sonny shrugged. He scrubbed his toothbrush around a bit, spit, then said, “I’m just stressed.”

 

“About?”

 

Sonny repeated scrubbing his teeth, spit, then added, “I’m worried that if I don’t do well, I’ll be traded, or sent to Trenton, or benched, or nobody will want me, or—“

 

“Hey, hey,” Rafael stopped him. “Calm down.” He kissed Sonny’s back. 

 

Sonny took a deep breath as he rinsed his toothbrush. “I just can’t focus with all of those thoughts. I...I’ve never wanted to disappoint anyone. I’ve never wanted to disappoint...” He looked up into Rafael’s reflection in the mirror. 

 

“Who, me? You think you’re going to disappoint me?” 

 

Sonny broke Rafael’s gaze and looked down.

 

“Hey, come on,” Rafael turned Sonny so they were facing each other. “Look at me.”

 

Sonny blinked up.

 

Rafael continued. “You’d never disappoint me. You could be the worst baseball player in the world and you’d still be my favorite player.”

 

“Even if I sucked so bad that I got traded to Miami?”

 

Rafael chuckled. “I could think of worse fates than being sent to Miami.”

 

Sonny finally cracked a smile. “Not the point, Rafi.”

 

Rafael leaned forward and kissed him. “I wouldn’t be disappointed in you if you got traded to Miami. Arizona, maybe, because you’ve seen me in that kind of heat.”

 

Sonny let out a laugh. “Okay. Anywhere but Arizona.”

 

Rafael kissed his nose. “You don’t even have to worry about it.”

 

Sonny took a slow, deep breath. 

 

Rafael kissed his lips again, long kisses with hints of tongue. 

 

“Let me take your mind off it,” Rafael whispered. 

 

Sonny didn’t want to deny that it sounded like a good offer. But it was already late. They should have already been in bed and Rafael had to get up in five hours and—

 

Rafael’s hand trailed down Sonny’s stomach and to the elastic of his boxers, getting the attention of Sonny’s already twitching dick. 

 

“Okay,” Sonny agreed. “Take my mind off it.”

 

Rafael grinned, then dropped to his knees right there in the bathroom. 

 

“Ah, fuck, wait—“ Sonny tried, but it was too late. In seconds, his boxers were down and Rafael’s mouth was on his cock, working him to complete hardness. 

 

It wasn’t long until Sonny was pushing into his mouth.

 

It wasn’t long until Sonny was coming down his throat. 

 

It wasn’t long until Sonny forgot what he was worried about.

 

* * *

 

The next night was much of the same; Sonny had an off-day and Rafael took his mind off it. 

 

Then the next—

 

And the next—

 

And the next—

 

Luckily, the trade deadline came and went, and there were only a few rumors of talks of Sonny’s trade. He wasn’t traded—and he went to church and thanked God for that—but his playing didn’t improve. And Rafael was always there to lend a hand in keeping Sonny distracted. 

 

A few days after the deadline, Sonny was having an alright game. They were in a Toronto, where he usually did well, but he walked his first time up to bat. Then, his second time to bat was up and he was ready. He was so ready that he did hit the ball, but the throw beat him to first and he was called out. 

 

Trotting back to the dugout, he got a...funny feeling. In the pit of his stomach, it was almost like excited butterflies. His thoughts flashed to Rafael, the thrill he felt when Rafael kissed his neck seductively. It was strange, because Sonny almost never thought of Rafael during games, so he pushed the thought from his mind and went on with the game. 

 

Two innings later, he was up to bat again. This time, in his overzealousness to hit, he struck out, and as he walked back to the dugout, it happened again. 

 

He thought about Rafael. But not just Rafael kissing him, he thought about Rafael under him, writhing under him with his legs wrapped around Sonny’s waist. And then it happened...Sonny’s dick twitched in his pants. 

 

Sonny was so shocked at the feeling that he smashed his finger when he dropped his bat back into the box where the bats go. Luckily, the pain shifted his thoughts and he was able to calm down. 

 

The rest of the game continued. Sonny was able to remain distracted enough to focus on the game, but he still had it in the back of his mind to talk to Rafael about what happened when he struck out. 

 

They had been having more sex. Was Rafael aware of that? Was it a coincidence? Wait...was Rafael having more sex with him because he was in a slump?

 

The game ended and the Yankees won despite Sonny’s lack of contribution. He tried not to think about striking out again in fear of what his body was going to do when he had to shower and change in front of the other guys, but he didn’t really stop thinking about it. It was still there.

 

From the end of the game to arriving at the hotel seemed to be hours, but it was only because Sonny was eager to talk to Rafael. He needed to get to the bottom of what was going on. More importantly, he needed to know if Rafael was aware of what he’d done to Sonny. 

 

Finally, he got into his room and told his roommate that he was going to call Rafael. Lee agreed to give him some privacy and left to bother some other guys. 

 

Rafael answered on the second ring. “Hey, baby.”

 

“Rafi.”

 

“What’s wrong?” Rafael immediately asked. 

 

“Are you having sex with me every night that I don’t get a hit?”

 

“I...yes?”

 

“On purpose?”

 

“Well, yeah. I thought it was like a...like a pick-me-up.”

 

Sonny groaned. “Oh my god. I got an erection when I struck out earlier!”

 

Rafael was silent. He didn’t make any noise for about twenty seconds, until Sonny heard a tiny chuckle from the other side of the line. 

 

“It’s not funny!” Sonny cried. 

 

“No, I know, honey, I’m sorry.” Rafael laughed again.

 

“You conditioned me!”

 

Rafael laughed fully. “Well, I’m sorry!”

 

“What am I gonna do?!”

 

“Uh, maybe start hitting the fucking ball?” Rafael asked sarcastically while he still laughed. 

 

“You’re an asshole, you know that?”

 

“What? Like you don’t want it every night.”

 

“Not now that I’m going to associate sex with sucking!”

 

“Hey, so do I—“

 

“Don’t.”

 

Rafael’s laughter slowed down. “Look,” he said, “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to. I thought I was just keeping you happy.”

 

Sonny sighed. “I know.”

 

“I don’t know how to reverse this except to not have sex.”

 

“Maybe sex for hits,” Sonny said. 

 

“Okay, great, I’m going to be celibate for the rest of the season.”

 

Sonny chuckled. “God, you’re such a dick.”

 

Rafael laughed. “How about no correlation between hits and sex. It’ll happen when it happens.”

 

“What? The hits or sex?”

 

“Both.”

 

Sonny sighed. “I’ll hit it again.”

 

“You will. I know you will.”

 

“And we may have sex again.”

 

“Oh, that one I am sure of.”

 

“But you’re not that sure I’ll hit again?”

 

“You know, sometimes you have to just rely on one thing to be forever truthful.”

 

Sonny laughed again. “Why do I love you?”

 

“Because I suck your dick when you strike out.”

 

Sonny rolled his eyes even though Rafael couldn’t see him. “I’ll hit again.”

 

“You will,” Rafael said, this time with no hint of a joke, just sincerity. “And I’m sorry I gave you an erection during the game. Although, I’m a little impressed by myself. During a game, and we’re not even in the same country.”

 

“Maybe I just miss you.”

 

“Hit tomorrow and we’ll see if it was the strike out or if you just miss me.”

 

“I’ll hit it for you.”

 

And Sonny did. The very next day, in the third inning, his got his first hit in two weeks. Rafael didn’t reward him until he got home a week later. 

 

The slump finally ended. Sonny was back on track and ready to take on the race to the postseason. He had his growing confidence, Rafael by his side, and the entire city appreciating him again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just silly. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy!


	6. VI: Playoff Race

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one does not have a lot to do with baseball. It’s a fluff filler. Hope you enjoy.

September was torture. Pure torture. Worse than the All-Star elections, worse than the trade deadline, September was when absolutely all of it was on the line to make it to the post-season.

 

Nothing mattered in the whole season unless a team made it to the playoffs. Not player of the month, not the All-Star appearance, not all the wins or even the losses. None of it except playoffs. 

 

Sonny was a ball of nerves for the first time all season. It didn’t truly effect any of his playing; like all players, he claimed to keep his cool and play day to day. But it was not entirely the truth. He was nervous, anxious, and really, really wanted to win. 

 

It all looked like smooth sailing. The Yankees were killing it, just as they had all season, and they were quickly approaching a championship in the east. Sonny just had to stay focused, but also retain his balance of keeping work at work and home at home. 

 

Which is why, during a rare off day in mid-September, Sonny agreed to a big family gathering. Actually, Sonny was a key factor in organizing the event, as it was his baby niece’s baptism and he was the Godfather. 

 

Sonny was glad to have something else to think about, something else to worry about not screwing up. 

 

A few days before the baptism, Sonny was lounging on the couch before it was time to head to the ballpark. Rafael was pattering back and forth from the kitchen and dining-turned-office area to the bedroom, gathering things and stuffing them into his briefcase so he could head to the office. 

 

“Hey,” Sonny said when Rafael wandered through one more time, this time in his suit jacket and downing the last of his coffee. “Don’t forget about Sunday.” 

 

“Sunday, Sunday...”

 

Sonny didn’t look up from his phone. “Jamie’s baptism.”

 

He could hear Rafael’s long sigh all the way from the kitchen. 

 

“Yes,” Sonny said. 

 

“Yes, what?”

 

“Yes to the question you’re about to ask.”

 

“I didn’t ask—“

 

Sonny stood. “You were going to ask if you had to come. Yes, I’d like you to. If not only to keep me distracted from family, distracted from every person in New York talking baseball in my direction, but because I want you by my side. I have a day off and I would like to drag you to church.”

 

“Isn’t that a song about sex?”

 

“It’s ‘Take Me to Church’ and that’s not the point, you heathen.”

 

Rafael cracked a smile. “Okay, of course I’ll go.”

 

Sonny smiled. 

 

“I may not be happy, you know, in church.”

 

“I’ll repay you with booze at my parents’ house.”

 

“Booze at a baby’s baptism?”

 

“We’re Italian.”

 

Rafael rolled his eyes, but did so with affection. “It’s a date, then.”

 

“A date to a baby’s baptism?” Sonny retorted. 

 

“Shut up,” Rafael said, bouncing up onto his toes to press a kiss to Sonny’s lips. 

 

* * *

 

Sunday arrived and Sonny was up early. Even though the game the previous night went into extra innings, he had trouble sleeping when he got home, so he got up to take a long, leisurely shower. 

 

He was in the shower almost twenty minutes when the bathroom door opened. 

 

Rafael stepped over to the toilet and called over the splash of the spray, “There better be hot water left for me.”

 

“Good morning to you, too.”

 

Rafael flushed the toilet. He went to the shower and pulled back the curtain. “Good morning,” he said. 

 

Sonny smiled. For the first time, he felt awake. He felt Rafael’s smile like a ray of sunshine, even if it was accompanied by a grumbly hello and not the sweetest kiss Sonny had ever received. 

 

Still, Sonny was so happy. Rafael pushed the curtain back into place and Sonny knew he went to the sink. 

 

“How are you feeling?” Rafael asked. 

 

“Fine, why?”

 

“You’ve been up all night.”

 

“How do you know? You were snoring until four minutes ago.”

 

“I do not snore.”

 

Sonny snorted. Rafael threw back the curtain again, eyebrow raised and toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. 

 

Sonny lifted his eyebrows in a dare for Rafael to continue that argument, but Rafael just glared at him before going back to the sink. 

 

They were silent for a few minutes until Sonny knew Rafael finished brushing his teeth. The man rinsed his face, then went back to the shower to lean against the wall next to it. 

 

“So?” he asked. 

 

“So?” Sonny replied. 

 

Rafael pulled back the shower curtain. 

 

“Fucker!” Sonny yelled when the cooler air hit his body another time. “Stop doing that!”

 

“Tell me what’s wrong with you.”

 

Sonny shrugged and stepped under the hot shower spray. Rafael eyed him appreciatively. “I’m just tired,” he said. “Just...you know.”

 

Rafael nodded. He had to know what kind of pressure Sonny was under. Surely he felt it constantly with his job. Surely he felt even more stress than Sonny did. Sure, Sonny’s was on a worldwide stage, but Rafael’s job was about people’s lives. He was the last person to tell Rafael about a stressful job. 

 

“I just hope you can enjoy today,” Rafael said. 

 

“Yeah, me too.”

 

“Anything I can do to help you feel better?” Rafael asked. 

 

“Well, I could always...share the hot water.”

 

“I thought you’d never ask,” Rafael said seductively, then pulled his shirt over his head. 

 

Sonny’s heart sped up at the sight of Rafael stripping, Rafael naked, then Rafael stepping into the shower. Sonny made room for him, then completely forgot about every worry in the world until his fingers wrinkled and the water did begin to run cold. 

 

* * *

 

Sonny had decided to rent a car a few weeks back when the playoff race began. Public transit got too hard. From people bombarding him to people nearly harassing him over the state of the Yankees win column, he couldn’t handle riding his beloved subway anymore. So he drove his nice but unnoticeable Nissan out to the island with the comfort of a regular guy. 

 

Sometimes he wondered what that was like—being a regular guy. A regular guy with a regular job and a regular schedule and regular off days. He’d have his regular dinners at home, not at midnight some nights, with a regular hobby and regular interests. 

 

Sonny glanced at Rafael, who was contently gazing out the window of the regular car they were in. 

 

Would he have a regular love? Would he have Rafael?

 

Sonny couldn’t stop himself from wondering, which made him unable to stop himself from asking, “Would you still like me if I was regular?” 

 

Rafael looked at him with such a soft look that Sonny thought he might say something profound right off the bat, like he was planning for that question. Something like, ‘Of course! I would always love you!’ 

 

Instead, his face cracked into a confused look and he asked, “What?”

 

Which made Sonny regret asking. “Never mind,” he said. 

 

“No, what? Regular? Like...what, like me? Like, just a regular, average Joe?”

 

“Well, I mean—“

 

“Are you asking me if I’d love you if you were poor, or something?”

 

Sonny snorted out a laugh, because that sounded ridiculous and exactly what the question sounded like. 

 

“No, not exactly. I just...” Sonny sighed. “I dunno, Rafi. What if we were just two regular people, and I had a normal job and normal life and normal car and normal—“

 

“You know when we met I had absolutely no idea who you were, right? I was just watching the news and they mentioned you and I Googled you.”

 

“Okay, yeah, exactly. What if I wasn’t a Google-able person?”

 

“You know, now that you ask, I wouldn’t like you if you were home every night.”

 

Sonny sighed again. “Raf—“

 

“Sonny, what kind of dumb fucking question are you asking? I don’t like you because you play for the Yankees and you’re famous, or whatever. I like you because you’re the best person I know. The best person I’ve ever met. You’re...good.”

 

“You put rapists in prison.”

 

“Yeah, and I’m a prick about it.”

 

Sonny laughed. “You have a right to be.”

 

Rafael shook his head and gazed out the window again. “I love you. I’d even love you if you were regular.”

 

Sonny kept smiling.

 

“God knows I wouldn’t miss Twitter,” Rafael added. 

 

Sonny laughed again. “Liar. You like checking up on me.”

 

“Oh, love it. Love seeing all the fans you have...”

 

He said it in a strange way. Sonny eyed him. “What are you talking about?”

 

“All of the...lovey fans who gawk at you.”

 

“I’m sorry, am I sensing jealousy?”

 

Rafael shrugged. “Lots of women...”

 

“I knew it.”

 

“Lots of men...”

 

Sonny teased back, “Not to mention my teammates...”

 

Rafael smiled wider, but it was a somewhat fake smile. “I know I started it, but I don’t love that joke.”

 

Sonny playfully elbowed him. What began as a heavy thought Sonny had had become relief. He did have some regular stuff in life. He had a regular coffee order, a regular television show he loved, a regular Kindle reading list...a regular home to return to, and a regular love. A good ol’ regular love. 

 

Sonny reached over and took Rafael’s hand. Rafael quickly grasped Sonny’s hand back. 

 

They were silent for most of the ride from then on. Sonny navigated the streets of his youth until they hit his childhood church with dozens of cars already parked around the block. 

 

“Jesus Christ,” Rafael sighed. 

 

“That’s the guy,” Sonny mumbled. 

 

Rafael chuckled as he climbed out of the car. 

 

Sonny took Rafael’s hand back as they walked across the street. What he really wanted was to walk behind Rafael, admire his ass in the right, charcoal gray suit, but he pushed the thoughts from his mind as they approached church. He couldn’t have those thoughts in church. He couldn’t pray and think about Rafael’s ass at the same time. 

 

The baptism was beautiful. It had been a while since Sonny could sit through church, only getting to go on a rare Sunday that the team played late, and it was all very therapeutic. He was able to listen to the words, the prayers, and completely clear his mind of anything stressful. With the baby in his arms, he felt content. 

 

Regular. 

 

Sonny rocked the baby back and forth as she napped on and off; he gazed down at her face and kissed her head. His sister Gina patted his back in reassurance that he was her correct choice. Sonny smiled down at her and nudged her playfully. His heart bloomed with happiness with his family. 

 

When church finally ended, the family gathered again outside to discuss plans. Of course, they were all headed to the Carisi house for the celebration, but for some reason they needed to talk about getting there, picking up last minute stuff, and the celebration itself. 

 

“I’ll get ice,” Sonny offered. “We can get ice.”

 

“What?!” Deb, Sonny’s mother, exclaimed. “Don’t be ridiculous, after traveling all this way—“

 

Sonny scrunched his face. “Ma, how far do you think Manhattan is?”

 

Deb waved a hand. “Well, don’t be silly, you don’t need to—“

 

“Hey,” Sonny stopped her. “Let me do something.”

 

“He’s trying to be regular,” Rafael muttered behind them. 

 

“Shut up,” Sonny shot over his shoulder. 

 

“Regular?” Deb asked before there was a squeal and little hands were pushing people apart. 

 

“Uncle Sonny!” Mikey, Sonny’s youngest nephew, cried. He jumped into Sonny’s arms and Sonny huffed out a surprised breath. 

 

“Honey, careful!” Deb told the little boy. “Uncle Sonny—“

 

“Ma, relax, I can hold my nephew. And I can get ice, okay?”

 

Deb held up two hands in surrender. 

 

Mikey hugged Sonny’s neck tight. “Uncle Sonny, do you have a car? Can I ride with you?”

 

“I do have a car. It’s over there.” He pointed to the Nissan.

 

Mikey stared for a second, then asked, “Aren’t you rich?”

 

Everyone laughed. 

 

“Well, I—“

 

“That looks like a piece of shit,” Mikey added. 

 

“Michael Joseph!” Theresa, his mom, cried. Deb’s jaw was dropped wide open. Rafael was laughing behind Sonny. 

 

Theresa took Mikey from Sonny’s arms. “You owe me an Our Father. Cussin’ on the steps of the church...” 

 

“You’d think he was part of this family,” Sonny said. 

 

“Dominick!” Deb said, smacking his arm. “We do not cuss at church, I swear to—“

 

Sonny lifted an eyebrow. 

 

“You push me to curse, young man.”

 

Sonny smiled. He kissed his mother’s cheek. “See you at the house.”

 

“With ice,” Rafael added. 

 

“And beer!” Bella yelled from another group of family talking together. 

 

“You weren’t even in this conversation,” Sonny yelled to her as they began to leave. 

 

“And don’t skimp on shit! We know you can afford the good stuff!” 

 

“Does Auntie Bella have to say an Our Father?” Mikey asked. 

 

“Yes!” Deb cried. 

 

Sonny laughed as he and Rafael crossed the street. He draped an arm around Rafael’s shoulders, then leaned over to kiss his head. 

 

“They’re the ones who make my life irregular,” Sonny said. 

 

“Agreed,” Rafael replied as they climbed into the car. 

 

Sonny started the car and thought about what to do, where to go, how to get there. He looked at Rafael. 

 

“Let’s go for a ride.”

 

“To a gas station?”

 

Sonny shrugged. “We can be a few minutes late.”

 

“Are you sure? Bella was serious about the beer.”

 

Sonny was home for the first time in a while. He was in his old neighborhood. He felt a sense of wanting to show it off. Would regular people cruise their old homes? Would regular people take their significant other back to see it?

 

“I wanna show you something.”

 

Rafael eyed him suspiciously. “Alright,” he said, buckling his seatbelt. 

 

Sonny drove the streets like muscle memory. Away from the church, passed the stores and businesses, many that he grew up with but many new that he didn’t recognize. Still, the place he was headed was there, and he drove the streets as he had on his bicycle as a young boy. 

 

They pulled up to a dirt parking lot in a not-so-busy neighborhood. It was Sunday, so it was empty, and Sonny was glad because he was able to get out. Rafael followed. 

 

Sonny went up against the fence of the old Little League field and looked out onto the green grass. It was beautiful, just as he remembered it. He spent some of the most fun times in his life at this place. He remembered the sun in his eyes, sweat dripping down his face as he played his heart out, always trying his best and never settling for coming in second. He acted like every game was Game 7 of the World Series, even as a little kid. He was destined to be a Little Leaguer for life. 

 

“Is this where you learned how to play?” Rafael asked, leaning against the fence next to him. 

 

Sonny shook his head. “Nah. That was at home, before I could walk or talk.”

 

Rafael smiled. “Sounds like me with arguing.”

 

“We sure found our callings, right?”

 

“What else do you think you would do if you didn’t play ball?” Rafael asked. 

 

Sonny was struck by the question. He thought if he was ever asked that, he’d know. He’d have an answer. But he didn’t. He had no idea. 

 

“Maybe a cop,” Sonny said, “Like my dad.”

 

“Sounds like you.”

 

Sonny shrugged. “I wanted to be a priest once.”

 

“Really? What happened?”

 

“Made out with the quarterback at the Freshman homecoming dance.”

 

“Oooh, were all the girls so jealous?”

 

Sonny laughed. “Just my sister Gina. She liked him.”

 

“Oh, that’s a great story.”

 

“She’s still pissed about it, even though it was, like, a hundred years ago.”

 

“Your poor sister.”

 

Sonny just smiled. He gazed out at the field and thought about that, thought about a hundred different things that happened throughout his life leading to that moment. Leading him to where he was. 

 

Minutes later, Rafael gently touched his side. 

 

“We’d better go. I’ve breathed in enough Staten Island air.”

 

“Hey, it’s fresh.”

 

Rafael made a sour face. Sonny smiled, then wrapped an arm around Rafael’s shoulders again. He kissed Rafael’s forehead. 

 

They got back into the car and drove to the nearest convenient store to the house. Rafael insisted Sonny stay in the car, but Sonny insisted Rafael had no idea what he was doing, so he went in, too. 

 

They made it the entire way through the shop without seeing any other people, then they got to the checkout and dumped their stuff. 

 

“Holy shit,” the cashier, a young kid, said, “It is you. I thought it was you, but I...but you are...”

 

Sonny smiled. 

 

“Can I have your autograph?” 

 

“Yeah, of course,” Sonny said. 

 

The kid kneeled behind the counter. Sonny heard a backpack unzip, and when the kid stood, he was holding a baseball.

 

“You just carry that around?” Rafael asked. 

 

Sonny and the kid looked at him. “Uh, yeah,” they said in unison. 

 

Rafael shook his head in disbelief. 

 

Sonny took the ball and a pen. “What’s your name, kid?” He scratched his name on the ball. 

 

“Ben. I’m a big fan. I play baseball, too.”

 

“Yeah? You live around here?”

 

“Yeah. I go to school at your old high school.”

 

“No way? Is Coach Miller still there?”

 

“He’s a quote-unquote-consultant now. Mostly he just comes to games and yells at us from the stands.”

 

Sonny laughed and handed back the ball. “Gonna go pro, Ben?”

 

“Oh, I...”

 

“Do it. It’s fun.”

 

Ben smiled. “Okay.”

 

Sonny smiled back. Ben got to ringing up their stuff. Sonny made smalltalk with the kid about the neighborhood, his school, and baseball. 

 

“You on Twitter, Ben?”

 

Ben nodded. 

 

“Send me a DM, I’m gonna follow you. Keep in touch, okay?”

 

“For real?” Ben asked. 

 

“What, you don’t want to be my friend?”

 

“You’re you! I’m just a kid from Staten Island!”

 

“So am I, Ben.” Sonny shook his hand. “See you, kid.”

 

“Bye,” Ben said, sounding a bit dazed. 

 

Sonny got in the car, buckled, and started the engine before looking at Rafael. Rafael was smiling at him, beaming, and had an unreadable, but fond, look in his eyes. 

 

“What?”

 

“You. You’re just...”

 

“What? Crazy for being friendly with fans?”

 

Rafael leaned over and kissed Sonny. “You’re amazing.”

 

“Thanks,” was all Sonny could say. 

 

Rafael sat back in his seat and buckled, too. Sonny began down the street toward the house. 

 

——

 

They arrived minutes later, beer and ice in hand, and Sonny’s sisters bombarded them when they entered the kitchen. 

 

“Geez, where’d you go?” Theresa asked. 

 

“Break in the Nissan behind a Wendy’s?” Gina asked. 

 

“It’s a rental!” Bella added. 

 

“That’s not what we were doing, you fucking perves,” Sonny said, handing Bella a beer. 

 

Theresa grabbed her own beer. Sonny took one from the case, handed it to Rafael, but went in search of a glass to get Rafael some hard alcohol. He just handed Rafael his bottle to open. 

 

“Can’t even open your own beers?” Bella teased. “Your poor little fingers are too fragile?”

 

Sonny flipped her off. “Not this one.”

 

Bella grabbed his finger and twisted it. Sonny laughed. Right then, Deb entered the kitchen. 

 

“You are all menaces,” she said, looking at all of their drinks and Sonny’s middle finger in his sister’s fist. “Except you, Rafael.” She patted his cheek. 

 

Rafael smiled. “Thank you, ma’am. Truly, you are a saint for dealing with all four of them.”

 

“Kiss ass,” Sonny muttered. 

 

Rafael grinned at him. 

 

“I raised them better, Rafael, I swear I did.”

 

“Sometimes you can’t help how they turn out,” Rafael agreed with her. 

 

Sonny and his sisters rolled their eyes. Sonny pinched Rafael’s side. 

 

Deb rested a hand on Rafael’s arm. “You are a blessing to this family, Rafael. At least I know one is taken care of.”

 

“Hey!” the girls cried. 

 

“That one I agree with,” Sonny said. 

 

“At least ours married us,” Theresa muttered behind her beer bottle. 

 

“Oooh,” Gina and Bella sounded in unison. 

 

“Now girls,” Deb scolded. “Leave them alone. Sonny is busy.”

 

“Sonny’s had time to binge watch all ten seasons of Friends again,” Bella argued. 

 

“I travel a lot,” Sonny defended. He glanced at Rafael, who looked increasingly uncomfortable. 

 

“Too busy to pop the question, not too busy to watch ten full seasons—“

 

“Isn’t there a baby someone should be checking on?” Sonny asked. 

 

“I’ll do it!” Rafael cried, then rushed out of the room. Deb followed, but Sonny didn’t think she was going to comfort Rafael. 

 

Sonny glared at his sisters. “You guys are bitches.”

 

“Why haven’t you gotten married?” Theresa asked. “It’s been a year.”

 

“Yeah, a year. We’re not kids.”

 

“He doesn’t want to?” Gina asked, pity in her voice. 

 

“What? No! I mean...I don’t know.”

 

“You haven’t even talked about it?” Gina asked. 

 

Sonny shrugged. “I’ve been busy.”

 

“Bullshit,” Bella said. “You’re scared.”

 

“Of?” Gina asked. 

 

“I’m not scared,” Sonny argued. 

 

“Haven’t you thought about it?” Theresa asked. 

 

Sonny hadn’t, not really. Sure, he loved Rafael, he wanted to spend forever with Rafael, but he hadn’t actually, really thought about it. So, he thought then. He thought about his irregular life and his regular love. And he wanted to marry him. He wanted to marry the guy who developed an interest in baseball for him, the guy who lived half the year without him, the guy who traveled to Staten Island for him, the guy who tolerated the Carisi’s. 

 

Sonny looked up, and behind his sisters staring at him was the window looking out to the back yard. He saw Rafael talking to Dom Sr. and one of Sonny’s uncles, and every few seconds pausing to tag one of the kids running through the adults, as if he was multitasking a conversation and a game. 

 

Sonny loved him so much. He loved his regular guy in a regular way. 

 

“After the season ends,” Sonny mumbled, not taking his eyes off Rafael. “I’ll ask him to marry me.”

 

His sisters smiled. Sonny was sure they started talking wedding, something about a winter wedding, so Sonny slipped out of the kitchen. He walked outside, and as soon as Rafael caught sight of him, he winked. Sonny just smiled back at him. 

 

Much later that evening, they climbed into the car and sat. Sonny was exhausted. From the game the night before, to being unable to sleep that night, to a long day visiting family, he thought he could sleep for a week. 

 

He looked over at Rafael. Rafael looked just as tired as he felt. Sonny stared at him until Rafael looked up. 

 

“Hmm?” Rafael asked. 

 

Sonny leaned over and kissed him. “Thank you,” he said. 

 

“For?”

 

“For standing by my side. For loving me enough to come out here. For...everything.”

 

Rafael kissed him again. “You’re welcome.”

 

Sonny smiled, then he sat back and started the car. He grabbed Rafael’s hand between them and didn’t let go until they got home. 

 

That night, he felt happy and content, and for the first time, he didn’t dread the season ending—for he had something to look forward to when it did end. 

 


End file.
